Dharma Talks

Three selections from The Book of Householder Koans by Nakao and Marko study what it means to wake up amid family, to practice dharma in our relational lives. The teachings of unknowing labels, accepting not-knowing, and dropping attachments so that we can show up—these help us open to the call and response of the entire universe.

In this tender koan (from the Hidden Lamp) Quiyuan describes her awakening in terms of gestation and giving birth. It whispers quiet questions for everyone: what is meditation like for you? How do we take care of the embryo inside ourselves, and in each other? What is that moment when we feel completely stripped bare? What is that presence, pulsing and alive, that we hold and are held by?

The odd exchange between Tianping and Xiyuan in this koan (Blue Cliff Record, Case 98) has the power to liberate. Even if we do not have the kind of arrogance that Xiyuan demonstrates, many of us show up in Zen feeling as if we’ll never get it, never understand. Both ways—to be full of one's attainments or to lack confidence completely—close off learning and growth. If you want to walk with this koan, try carrying around the mantra, “Mistake!” Notice all the times we set out

Today we are invited to enter the element of water, the sense of touch, and an image of rare togetherness. To get into a bath, we must be vulnerable, unadorned, unclothed. The usual ways of orchestrating the world drop away. In this state of relaxation, where is the boundary between self and other?

It is a koan, this condition of climate change we find ourselves in because of radically altering the biosphere. And it is not an optional koan—it works on all of us even if we don’t want to work on it. The koan approach is the only way to fully meet something that threatens to kill us. Am I willing to be changed? Am I willing to learn something that I wish I didn’t have to learn?